The last time we went to New Orleans (and the first time I ever met another blogger) was for my bachelorette party at the end of September. When I got in my sister's car to leave, she had two Dr. Peppers, a bag of combos, and a pack of cigarettes on my side of the car. We were fucking READY. We even taught Katelynn the dance we made up when we were younger to Sometimes I Run by Britney Spears.
On our first night in New Orleans, we were walking down Bourbon Street when a group of guys in town for a bachelor party saw me with my penis necklace and just started yelling, "BACHELORETTE PARTY YEAH!" so obviously we started yelling "BACHELOR PARTY YEAH!" back to them, and ta-da! A friendship was born.
We bounced from club to club, with me getting drunker and drunker and drunker and..... GUYS, OMG, I AM SO DRUNK LOL FOREVER LET'S SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE ON BOURBON STREET.
I wish I could tell you guys more of what meeting a blogger was like, but my memory is a little fuzzy due to my being obliterated at that point in the night.
When we made it back to the hotel, I passed the fuck out.
The next morning, I woke up, took a shower, and gave myself a pat on the back for being an awesome drunky with no hangover.
And then I puked.
And puked again.
And puked some more.
For about five. goddamned. hours.
I pretty much just threw myself over the toilet and barfed like I was a supermodel. I cried into the toilet, told the toilet that I would never drink ever again, begged the toilet to make me stop feeling like a sorority girl after her first keg party, and even offered sexual relations in exchange for peace. To a toilet. Because that's how fucking awful I felt.
The rest of the girls went out to look at all the beautiful sights in New Orleans while I cried like a little bitch over how shitty I felt. They brought me back McDonalds, and after eating three fries, I felt much better.
WHAT THE FUCK. If I had fucking known it would only take a couple of fucking fries to make me feel better, I could have saved FIVE FUCKING HOURS of puking. #whitegirlproblems
After Pukefest '11, we went out on the town again, but this time, the thought of alcohol made me want to stab myself in the face. I had one or two drinks, but kept it classy and stayed sober.
|Plus my BF bought me that pretty mask!|
When we couldn't get enough hot girls to show us their boobs, Katelynn went downstairs on a mission to recruit girls with questionable morals. Every time she got another one, we would all rejoice like our favorite team scored a game-winning touchdown. Highly entertaining.
|This place was ridiculous. Fucking gorgeous.|
|FEEL OUR JUDGMENT|
Like I said, I'll be in New Orleans this weekend, so if anyone else will be in town, you should probably let me know so we can be drunken fools together.
If you have any recommendations for super fun shit to do there, I would love you forever if you told me in the comments.
Even though I've been neglecting Sara Swears a Lot entirely too much, I was nominated for some awards on 20sb! They have Bootleg awards every year, and winners are chosen by members of 20sb themselves. Last year, I got Blogger I'd Most Like to Have a Drink With, which made me SO, SO HAPPY. That's probably the most awesome category there is, because I would have a drink with every single person on the Internet if I could, because I love you all so much. (Except for the people who use literally incorrectly. I will not have a drink with you, assholes.)
In other exciting news, Childhood Trauma won best group blog uncontested! I know I talk about it non-stop, but CT really is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I adore the girls I write reviews with, and the Wakefield twins are like my best friends, even though I hate those bitches. So thank you so much to everyone who voted for us! :)
Now when the fuck can we all get together and make the universe explode?