Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Tuesday is a Whore But Kaylee Isn't

Anyone who says Monday is the worst day of the week is sorely mistaken. Monday may be the jerk of the week, but Tuesday is a whore, which is far worse. Jerks may be mean, but they don't give you the clap, imjustsayin. My Monday was lovely except OH YEAH, IT WASN'T AT ALL.

It started with some dickweed guy blocking traffic on the way to work yesterday morning, while he was pulling his oversized, piece-of-shit, lookatmelookatme boat around. And after he blocked traffic and brake checked me multiple times (I was riding close because we were in the right lane, and I was driving right next to a semi), I drove past him only to find him laughing hysterically at the fact that he was holding so many of us up at 7:45 AM.

WHAT. THE FUCK. IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE.

Seriously. Who the hell gets joy out of infuriating other drivers? Whoever those people are, they should be stabbed in the foot and forced to sit through my Business Law teacher's PBS sounding monotone voice for the rest of their lives. NOT COOL, Y'ALL.

Breathe.

So the main point of this post isn't just to call Tuesday a whore but to ask for y'alls opinion on my new blog badge. My dear friend Kaylee (whose blog is hilarious and includes drawings that are so badass, they should be professional) made me a few blog badge examples, and I am so in love that I couldn't possibly choose one. Which is why I must ask for your help, people of amazing taste. The doll theme was chosen because of the reason for the name of this blog, in case you were wondering. So which of these best represents my blog?


Option #1

Option #2

Option #3
 I've added a poll in the top right corner. Vagina and blow jay jokes will resume in 3, 2....

P. S. Thanks for all the happy bloggyversary wishes! I've had a blast this past year, and I'm not going to stop blogging anytime soon. Y'all are like my own little dysfunctional family on the Internet, drinking entirely too much Natural Light and getting the cops called on them once a month or so for being drunk and disorderly.
Brought to you by Sara at 12:03 PM
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43 comments:

  1. Option one is the funniest, I think. It's to the point and represents your love of getting your drink on :)

    The road rage-y dude will get his comeuppances. No doubt on that.

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  2. The first one. That is my vote.

    I'll be honest I'll hold up traffic... but it is usually in the lane that everyone tries to fly up and then cut into the line-up at the offramp.

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  3. I fucking hate slowpoke assholes.

    So hard to decide! I like 1 for sure, but 2 has a much sexier look and feel. Dammit. I gotta go for 2.

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  5. I'm going with #1 -- definitely the you that I imagine the most. Hey, I forgot to say Happy Blogiversary! Awesome blog -- I read every single post. You make my day pretty much *every* day Sara! You rock! :)

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  6. Maybe I'll vote for #2 if some nipples are drawn on those boobies.

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  7. The first one. The second one makes me feel kind of skeevy for looking at her with out any clothes on.

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  9. I think I like the first one. less text is more.

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  10. I'm a pretty big fan of #1. I would love #2, but the "a lot" is too hard to see.

    Funny, funny buttons!

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  13. #1!
    AND NO DISRESPECTING WHORES.

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  14. I LOVE number 1!!! So so awesome!

    Also, I hate idiotic drivers. And the boat thing made me laugh! While we were at the doctors office a few days ago, someone comes up hauling a huge ass boat and Jen and I are like WTF? Does he just bring his boat with him everywhere?

    Totally outta place.

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  15. Can I change my vote? Fuck no. 2. I'm going with no. 1.

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  16. I voted number one! Pretty fucking dollyface!

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  17. Must say I like #3 just because I like the Words "Sparling Fucking," together!

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  18. I really like both 1 and 3, but I decided on 3.

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  19. I'm voting #1! Also, I've had a long running theory that Tuesday is the worst day of the week, but no one ever believes me. Arseholes... ;)

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  21. I'm voting two because A. she looks like she is topless and B. because you are always drunk and wanting to play.

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  22. #1 without a doubt, its short concise and sums you up perfectly. Hit 'em quick and hard. TWSS

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  23. I know I'm biased on all of these but I very much like number 1.

    Thank you so much for the shout out too, I owe you a post filled with drawings just.for.you.

    QUESTION: when you get married, does your husband get to be Mr. Swearsalot? I sure hope so.

    You're awesome!

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  24. I would have gone batshit crazy on the dude carting around the effing boat. People like that should not be allowed to so-call "drive".

    As for your button, I'm digging #1.

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  25. Seriously, how the shit is number 2 not winning the poll. Total crap. I'm never believing in anything ever again.

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  26. #3 cause it is sooooooo fucking true, your personality does sparkle!

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  27. How on earth do you know that the man with the boat was laughing at the fact that he was holding people up? I get that maybe you saw him laughing, but did he have a sign that proclaimed "this is specifically at you drivers I am holding up, not with my radio/at something someone said/because I'm crazy."

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  28. Because when I finally got the chance to go around him, he looked over at me and burst out laughing at how irritated I looked.

    I'll make sure to ask everyone around me to carry dry erase boards from now on.

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  29. I voted for option 1 since I really like how the "Fuck" is highlighted and on full display.

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  30. You should check out my blog & follow it :)
    http://jpllove.blogspot.com/

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  31. As much as I love the last one, I feel like the first one is just actually what the Sara Swears A Lot doll would say. Like, if she had one of those little buttons on her back. Which was really a terrible idea because then it meant that the doll couldn't wear any of the other Barbie clothes because of her stupid fucking deformed back.

    And also, if I saw that I would need to check out that blog immediately. Which is kind of the point.

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  32. I really like the third one because it made me LOL the most, though I understand why the design of #1 is winning.

    I'm specifically leaving out #2 because I like it that Kev D is quitting believing in everything. YAY! :)

    Lorraine

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  33. I'm surprised more people didn't vote for #2 - I think that one's brilliant!

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  34. I lie alone, in a corner, crying, shivering...

    And then Lorraine kicks me and throws poop in my face?!?!?!! What the hell!??!?!

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  35. People on the roads are douche bags! I will cast my vote for 3. They are all awesome tho! BTW...
    ...I was awarded the Stylish Blogger Award and am nominating you as well cuz, well, whether you like it or not, I thought you were award-worthy! If you have already received this award and you don’t want another one or awards aren’t your “thing,” I completely understand. Just know that you are loved by me and no need to do anything more about it! If awards are your thing and you would like your award, come check it out on my site at http://non-trad-diaries.blogspot.com. I hope you have a great day!!!

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  36. I am in love with your sparkly fucking personality and #3. And have to add, mostly because I never know when to stop adding stuff and feel better when my comments are longer than everyone else's, that I love your blog and possibly you too which would lead to me stalking you if I wasn't too lazy to get out of my desk chair. Oh and I just realized you actually paid a visit to my blog back in August and even left a comment which almost brings me to tears of shame that it took me 6 months to notice. I would pimp my blog here and leave an annoying clicky link for you to follow back to me but I'm too much of a tard to know how to leave a clicky link but I figure if you want to stalk me...er...find me again you will know how.

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  37. Number one has fuck and alcohol so it gets my vote.

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  38. I vote for number 1. Not really a fan of number 2 and 3 is okay. GO NUMERO UNO!

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  39. Hmmmm, gotta go with #3.
    No. 1 is a good one, but what if you stop drinking? I know, you'll never stop, but I still think #3 is a testament to your personality. It emphasizes the word "fuck" and it's obvious that you sparkle. I mean, you dance in a fucking snuggie and raise the roof. How is that not sparkling?

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  40. I'm into option 1 for sure.

    I have to be honest, I hate cyclists who wear black at night a bit more than drivers who hold up traffic. Although it's a close call.

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  41. Oh my God the third one cracked me up tenfold. Ding ding ding! We've found a winner.

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  42. I like the first one. But I like the third one too. Well, I'll vote #1 anyway.

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  43. I like #'s 1 & 3.

    I just started following you.
    Fucking shit you're hilarious.

    -tiff
    fashionintheforest.blogspot.com
    itsybitsytiffy.blogspot.com

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