Wednesday, March 23, 2011

My Heart Is Obese, But My Ass Is Not

"Sara.. I always thought you were lean but recently I saw your pics on your blog and God.. you are heavy"

I try to keep some things private, for the sake of myself and my friends/family and my readers. Certain things are just really hard to talk about. Other things I hide for my own personal reasons. But you guys have all come a long way with me. We've been on this blogroadtrip (that's what it feels like anyway) for over a year, and somehow we haven't all stabbed each other yet. So it's time I finally came clean. This is what I actually look like:


ATTENTION:  SARCASM AHEAD. WARNING:  SARCASM COMING.

I know that a lot of you are probably really insecure after seeing how amazing I look in this picture, which is the exact reason I never wanted you to know. I've always been sure to remind myself to photoshop my face on some heavy girl's body every time I need to post a picture. It's an exhausting task, but I feel that it's necessary to relate to the little (or not-so-little) people. (ZING! See what I did there? Did you? Yeah?)

It's hard being this beautiful, but somebody has to do it. Otherwise we'd all be staring at fat people all day which is SO GROSS OMG EW. I obviously don't speak to those people because I'm far too beautiful for that, but I will approve of them glancing in my direction for just a moment, because I know it probably makes their entire day worthwhile. I'm a good citizen like that.

In conclusion, my heart is obese, but my ass is not. I'd like to end with a quote from Glozell.

"You know what? I don't even know why I'm working out. I'm finer than frog hair combed four ways."
Sexily yours,
Sara

56 comments:

  1. Did someone actually say that to you? Really?

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  2. Oh, hey... Did I mention I love you?! You pretty much just made my life. ♥♥♥♥♥♥

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  3. Gosh, Sara. It's like this song was written about you.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz6nXv_AVh0

    Also, I thought you were pretty great-looking when you were photoshopping someone else's body onto your head.... but now... well, you work that anorexic ass, sistah!

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  4. haha :) I love you and your obese heart!

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  5. I personally think girls who do not eat healthy, like surviving on a single cucumber and stuff, are ugly. Skin and bones look really bad. No offense to anyone though! I am talking about the anorexic models out there. There are some people I know who are skinny but they still eat like human beings, and that is super fine. You look very very pretty Sara!! I would really like to know what men think on this coz from what I learn, men like to be with ladies whom they like to hold and feel the softness, and not like holding a robot :) Once again, this is not personally directed at anyone! No offense :)

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  6. @Allison - YES! Apparently they were jealous of my sexy. ;)

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  7. @Apfel - No offense taken here! I figure it just differs from guy to guy. Some like skinny girls and some like bigger girls. I'm betting most probably like a happy medium. :)

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  8. Based on that picture, you really need to go eat a couple of burgers. Stat. :P

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  9. That's so rude! What's wrong with people! It's comments like that cause eating disorders. I'm glad you were able to turn it around and make a joke of it. I'd probably cry.

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  10. I may or may not (leaning towards may) punch that person in the face.

    Bottom line.
    I'd do you.
    Skinny, fat, morbidly obese.. it would happen.

    So when I come to LA, can we go eat as much fattening greasy food as possible?

    LOVE.

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  11. I'm a little intimidated by your stunning physique. I will continue reading but PLEASE continue photoshopping your head onto other people's bodies. I've also always dreamed about having a sexy white square around my head so... that stings a little to see that there are people out there with that.

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  12. Can I just say how much I LOVE that face you're making in that pic? Totally outweighs that hot ass bod of yours.

    And, as your twin in MN (according to my momsy), I too am offended by that tool's comments. WE ARE SOME SEXY MUTHAS, SARA!!!

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  13. All right, who do I have to knock the fuck out??

    I think you're gorgeous the way you are, and WAYYY prettier than Katy Perry too :)

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  14. Sara -- you are hawt and you rock, like every day no matter what you look like. Don't let small (in the penis) people bring you down.

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  15. God... I love this post.

    I've to scroll up soon, though, and continue staring at your bones, I MEAN CHEST. It turns me on so, so, so.

    No, seriously. I love you.

    Lor

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  16. The only way that could have been funnier is if we weren't told it was sarcasm. You really need to drop any reader who couldn't go there with you, mentally. They dum.

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  17. Thanks Sara..

    For the people who want to 'punch in face' or fuck out' the person who said this to Sara. That person is me and http://aheartforall.blogspot.com/
    is my blog address where you can find my email id too. You guys can easily send me all fucks and punches that you want to because I said that to Sara. But did anyone asked Sara what happened after that. I will tell you (because everyone here presented their thoughts here and I have right too)I am from India and English is not my first language. So what I wanted to tell was that Sara in your profile picture at 20sb you look lean but in real you a heavy. If saying that means I am offending Sara here then this is your thinking. Making fun of someone's thoughts or feelings like this on blog : Thanks again Sara.. I am in your followers list and won't unfollow you because you are still an inspiration to me.

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  18. Thanks Sara.. Its the first time in my life.. people are calling me in the penis.

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  19. Sara.. You are an inspiration to me..

    and if you ever had inspiration then you would know you are never jealous of your inspiration

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  20. Sara, you intimidate me ... with your beauty.... and your crudeness. I dig.

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  21. @Anna - Uh, I didn't even say anything about you. Calm down.

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  22. Your friends said::

    I may or may not (leaning towards may) punch that person in the face.


    Don't let small (in the penis) people bring you down.



    and your tweets on the left side of this page!

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  23. HAHA! love this post. sincerely, your heavier(gag) sister.

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  24. You could be Kiera Knightly's twin!

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  25. wow, doesn't matter what country you are from, to tell a woman she is fat or "heavy" is just awful.

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  26. Wow! This post sure stirred up a hornet's nest. While it was brave of the commenter to come back and admit what she said, I'm guessing that in most places in the world a woman would take offense to being called heavy/fat. To me, commenting on anyone's looks in a way that isn't kind is well, just plain mean. With that being said I will go off in a second on someone's stupid behavior.

    PS: I'm in the Thank Q for Common Sense Blogging Tournament and would really appreciate your vote. There is a link on my blog. Thanks!

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  27. WTF Sara....You are most definitely not heavy. You know that missy. I understand how much it hurts though.
    I've put on 15lbs from quitting smoking and guess what? Everyone is saying I'm pregnant. Especially since I gain all the weight in my fat gut. Still I'm not huge...going to the gym...eating healthy but it hurts. I wear hoodies and over sized shirts a lot right now because I'm so embarrassed. However I LOVE MY TITS. They look great! hahahaha

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  28. *Cannot stop singing Fat Bottomed Girls by Queen*

    Sara you rock, you look great, but it's of no consequence anyway because you're brilliant =^_^=

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  29. Well the gossip in me really wanted to know who it was. All I had to do was read the comments apparently.

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  30. Sara, call me in my penis please.

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  31. Pretty sure I've never been called "in the pens" but now I'm curious what that means...

    I know you didn't post this to get people to compliment you (because I know how much they compliment you during a non-body post) but srsly you.are.gift

    Which is apparently how my phone spells hott. Whatever, you're gorgeous, people are dumb and there is wine to drink somewhere. Have one for all of us.

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  32. wow, douchenozzle.
    let me guess... this came from a boy, himself fat, that you used to know vaguely in high school, and now he's hatin' on you on facebook?
    i know those guys...

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  33. whups, read the comments, nevermind. but still, seems like something an ex-frattie would say.
    i do maintain that part.

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  34. I don't even understand why anna said what she said. If Sara is considered "overweight", then I'm a fucking sumo wrestler.

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  35. Maybe in India "in real you a heavy" means "You're so fucking awesome I want to be you or at least be your undies because you're the shit."

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  36. WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!!

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  37. Dear Anna,

    People like you use your cultural and ethnic background to conceal your own flaws. If English is your second language, that has nothing to do with anything that you said to her. I would not have responded here in the normal course but I am very sorry to say that you spoil the name of our own country by behaving like a complete jackass :) This, coming from a girl who is an Indian too.

    I hope in all anticipation that you read this post and get back to me, and I do not mean to make this a battle, but let me tell you that thanks to people like you, Indians are misunderstood all around the world for being the douches that you are.

    Whether you're from India or Mexico or Japan or anywhere else, don't you ever dare to use it as an excuse for your lack of communication skills.

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  38. Don't know who Glozell is or what he is talking about but it's still a good quote.

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  39. Kiera Knightley is about as attractive as a chicken carcass.

    And Anna K....nnnnnnnnngh. NNnnnnnnnnnnnnnghhghghg.

    No, sorry. I was told if you can't say anything nice say nothing at all, so...


    .....

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  40. I'm just so in love with you. Probably because you're so hot.

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  41. Uh ... Sara is heavy? I've seen Sara, and she is the opposite of heavy. But not the scary opposite.

    And if Sara is heavy: WTF Sara! Our Skype date was photoshopped? If so... how did you do that? I want to learn your magic. Live photoshopping.

    And if she really really was... who cares?

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  42. Who would write that? I'm guessing it was an obese person. They like to make judgements on everyone. I watch The Biggest Loser and Good Times. They be cutthroat.

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  43. Well Anna K here is a hint. In English, saying someone is "heavy" is rude. And sara you are not heavy AT ALL. You are lovely.

    Which is why you can call me in the penis any time baby

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  44. Sara is hot. She's not heavy. But I weigh like 4 pounds, and I get the opposite of that (people asking if I have an eating disorder all the time, etc). It sucks. No matter what, SARA IS HOT.

    And Anna K, Apfel pretty much summed it up. No matter what culture you're from, class is always the same. Calling people "heavy" is rude no matter what, and offering to take people's babies is just fucking creepy.

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  45. lmao!! You crack me up, you sexy thang!

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  46. I'm not attracted to stick figures. You totally just ruined it for me. We coulda been something special, babe.

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  47. Oh my god... I found you through 20SB and I don't know HOW I'M NOT FOLLOWING YOU ALREADY. Hilarious!

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  48. I love you! In a not creepy way.

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  49. Someone said that to you?? How rude! Sara, if you're just hawt, you don't need to be a stick. Besides, that picture doesn't have any boobies. Where's the fun in that?? Interwebs high five for being sexy. =]

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  50. Your heart is obese because it is huge and filled with loveeeeeeee.



    I heart your (not heavy) face.

    Also, that body needs some Zebra Cakes and some Ritter Sport. That body is not one whose pocket I can live in. It will not have sweets and treats and disgustingly unhealthy things. All it shall have is sticking of fingers down your throat and not eating. :(

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  51. Hi, I have just visited your site and the info you have covered has been of great interest to me.

    Life For Rent

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  52. I am right now doing this uber-sexy, barking, exasperated sigh/laugh.
    For the record, I weigh 95lbs (but you know me so you know the story behind *that* bag of snakes) but my inner lesbian (and my outer lesbian, actually) is only attracted to rounder girls. And you don't even come under the 'larger-lady' umbrella. You're fucking NORMAL. I've only ever looked at pictures of you and gone 'Damn I'd like to look like Sara'. And then I have a sly wank EXCEPT JUST KIDDING. UNLESS YOU LIKE THAT, AND THEN I TOTES DO.

    Moral of the story? I don't even know. Maybe that people should think about their words more, especially when those words are not in their first language. Also, unless you're autistic, you don't get to say EVERY thought that pops into your head.

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  53. It disgusts me seeing girls/models with bone sticking out everywhere. They are obviously not very healthy. I've always struggled with being over weight...but I've lost 60 lbs...and think I'm okay at staying at 150..anything less than that and I'd love all the curves I love.

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  54. I appreciate this post because I have been told many a time that I should weigh 220 pounds because of my eating and exercise habits. So I am on board with the heart being fat but the ass not so much.

    http://www.therealpostgrad.com/

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  55. Anna, you seriously lost any respect I had remaining for you after this.

    Sara, you're fucking hot. I wish I looked like you. You're beautiful, and you're awesome. Sara loving all around. <3.

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