I try to keep some things private, for the sake of myself and my friends/family and my readers. Certain things are just really hard to talk about. Other things I hide for my own personal reasons. But you guys have all come a long way with me. We've been on this blogroadtrip (that's what it feels like anyway) for over a year, and somehow we haven't all stabbed each other yet. So it's time I finally came clean. This is what I actually look like:
ATTENTION: SARCASM AHEAD. WARNING: SARCASM COMING.
I know that a lot of you are probably really insecure after seeing how amazing I look in this picture, which is the exact reason I never wanted you to know. I've always been sure to remind myself to photoshop my face on some heavy girl's body every time I need to post a picture. It's an exhausting task, but I feel that it's necessary to relate to the little (or not-so-little) people. (ZING! See what I did there? Did you? Yeah?)
It's hard being this beautiful, but somebody has to do it. Otherwise we'd all be staring at fat people all day which is SO GROSS OMG EW. I obviously don't speak to those people because I'm far too beautiful for that, but I will approve of them glancing in my direction for just a moment, because I know it probably makes their entire day worthwhile. I'm a good citizen like that.
In conclusion, my heart is obese, but my ass is not. I'd like to end with a quote from Glozell.
"You know what? I don't even know why I'm working out. I'm finer than frog hair combed four ways."Sexily yours,