Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bloggerstock: Theme of the Month Here*

UPDATE:  I added a poll regarding an ah-maz-ing idea I have for linking to other blogs that I want to have sexy time with. I'd like to pass on the love. : ) Plus you can vote twice so take your picks.

It's Bloggerstock day! And you can find me over hiz-ere. (It begins with, "I decided to go all out, balls out and tell a story that I said I would never tell on my blog. But I think now it's fair game since this isn't my blog, right? Right." If that doesn't encourage you to check it out, I don't know what will.) (I know how lazy you bitches are.) (Just kidding, I love you.)

I think that all I really need to introduce Stargazer is a little quote from her "100 Things About Me" post:

I know who I am, and I know I love women, inside and out.
Rawr! I don't know if she meant it to be dirty, but mommy like. (That sounded so fucking creepy pedophile-ish, but it made me laugh like whoa so it stays.)

Without further ado, here is a guest post on Do-Overs from Stargazer. Go visit her blog and say dirty things.

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Ok so, HI!!  I'm Stargazer! Let me get ya up to speed on what Bloggerstock is and why I'm takin up space on Sara's lovely blog. I (like so many others) found out about Bloggerstock through 20sb.net. Basically it's blog-swapping but on a ginormous scale. Visit my site HERE to see what the awesome Jessica had to say on the topic of the month:  DO-OVERS.


Hmmm ok... so if I could go back... what would I do over?  What are my regrets?  What would I change about my past?  This is a tough question for me, because although we do all have regrets, even if they're small ones, I am one of those optimists that truly believes that everything happens for a reason.  When I look back on things that could have maybe gone more smoothly, or completely different all together, I then just have to think about all I learned about who I am and what I want out of life from those less-than-great situations or decisions. 

But, then again... haha!  Maybe still.. I could have maybe not gone back and forth between dating two different girls over the span of a year and a half.  By the end of that time, I felt like I didn't even recognize myself.  But, as I said before, I learned so much about myself and what I want from a relationship because of those two tumultuous relationships.  Let me make this clear from the start, neither one ever overlapped the other, I have never cheated on anyone, and never will, but my heart was definitely always with the first one, and I realized later that I was only going back to the second one after the countless break ups with Ex No. 1, in an attempt to distract myself from the heartache of not being able to make it work with her.  I was also trying to piece together the good things from both of the girls into one person.  I know that doesn't actually make sense, but both of the girls had things that I wanted from a partner (well Ex No. 2 ended up not having anything I wanted, she was quite the nasty ho FOR REALLL, but she put on a good show for a long time) so I thought that the perks of each could make up for what they didn't have.  Lol... I swear this makes sense in my mind, but I can't seem to explain it by typing it out, for those of you who are shaking your heads in bewilderment.  But anyway, from this whole experience, I learned that I am not the kind of person who can distract myself with someone else if I'm still feeling any kind of heartache for someone else.  It just flat out doesn't work for me.  I don't carry baggage very well, so I now know that I need to fully be over any heartaches before starting something new with a new person.  I am very happy to say that I am fully over that Ex No. 1 (only really took about 2 years!) and she and I are now friends.  Distant friends, but friends none the less.  But yeah, that whole experience is one of those that I look back on and just shake my head, thinking... WHAT WERE YOU THINKING???  But that's ok.  I'm ok with looking back on mistakes like that, and knowing that I know myself better for it. 

Another regret?  I think I'll always regret not sticking with ballet.  I did 8 years of ballet when I was young, and I was really great at it.  I was the youngest in all of my classes by at least 3 years, and always had a lead role in our academy's ballet performances.  When my parents split, we moved across town and I wasnt able to stay in the same academy because my mom said it would be too much to do that much driving back and forth.  I had the option of choosing a different ballet school closer to home, and I tried a couple, but the teachers were so shitty that I ended up quitting all together out of frustration.  Whenever I watch a movie about dancing or see a ballet now, it really gets to me knowing that that could have been me... it was something that I felt so passionate about, but I let it go way too soon.  So yeah, maybe I would have stuck with that if I could have one do-over.  :)
 
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*The title of this post was a really lame joke referencing this page. That crazy Sara! Thinking she's funny and shit!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Um, hi?

So I took a Valium yesterday and calmed down and was like..... Wow, this is going to be really embarrassing because I'm obviously going to miss those crazies more than I realize and when this whole thing blows over, it's going to be totes awkward especially when I say that the situation is something I'd rather not blog about because everyone knows that just makes you want to know more so now I seem like I'm being vague on purpose but I'm totally not, ok? Ok.

Concerning yesterday? My relationship will always take precedence over almost everything else. (Besides Starbucks fraps, that is. Because Starbucks fraps are like a gift from Baby Jesus in a tuxedo shirt. Because he's formal.... but he likes to party. Duh.) So basically I'm an idiot sometimes because I'm a woman and my brain is smaller so it's not my fault. (Scientifically proven, y'all.)*

Besides the whole relationship thing, there's just SO MUCH going on in my life right now what with school, work, purchasing a new camera, getting bangs, participating in the sexy time with a fiancee who doesn't hate me even when I'm crazy and don't take antidepressants and flip out with rage like the motherfucking hulk or something.

I mean, seriously, y'all. It's like one second we're sitting on the couch having a discussion, and the next I look like I'm fucking 'roid raging or something because I'm making a noise like RAAAWWRRRRAFOIAJUFOIWE and ripping my shirt off which seems like it would be sexy except that I have green skin under said shirt and also pecs rather than breasts so joke's on you, playa!

Andy might THINK he has it bad when situations like this arise, but he didn't see me in high school. Barely a week could go through my house without hearing me yelling, "I hate you!" or "You're ruining my life!" or "You don't want me to be happy!"

Yes. I WAS that teenage girl, and this is the exact reason that Andy often says, "Dear Baby Jesus, PLEASE don't let us have a girl" even though we aren't even trying to have a baby because I make way too many jokes about girls getting pregnant out of wedlock.

Speaking of wedlock, I have made a bad joke about having babies out of wedlock twice now.... and BOTH motherfucking times, a coworker has said, "Um, Sara? I have a baby out of wedlock."

Heh, heh... Uh, duh. I knew that. That's why I made the joke, silly. Kind of like when you're talking shit about someone walking behind you, and they say something, and you have to turn around and play it cool and be all, "HA HA HA. Girl, you so crazy. I knew you were walking behind me OBVIOUSLY. Heh. Love ya?"

Anyways, that was all to say.... Hi. I'm going to be a good bloggy friend, a good fiancee, a good student, a good doggy mommy, a good exerciser, and a good worker.

LOL, JK about the good exerciser part. Y'all didn't think I was serious about that, right?

*I almost got kicked off of 20sb for making that comment. I was told that I'm sexist against women.

Well, duh.

Why did we give them the right to vote again?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Gone

Until further notice.

And yeah, I am crying.

Because I fucking love this little world on the internet.

And this fucking sucks.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

That's What He Said*

Andy loves me sososososo much that he agreed to let me interview him for this little old blog. Because he's giving and charitable and handsome and hey sweetie, would you mind giving Penny and Duke baths when you get home tonight? Kisses!

I actually recorded this conversation because I wanted it to be 100% accurate. You are so, so welcome. (Those two so moments were for you, Bret. I'll use so however I damn well please!) Anyfuckingwho, enjoy! Note the comments in blue were added by me after the interview was over. Also, I kept it very professional, as I'm sure you'll notice. Supah similar to a job interview, I'm pretty sure.

(Psst! I think that some of youse guys should encourage him to leave a comment for once since this whole damn post is about him.)

Me:  What was your favorite subject in school?
Andy: Which school? High school? College?
Me: I was trying to start off with an easy question....
Andy:  Science, I guess. Biology.

Notice he's already making this difficult.

Me:  What is your favorite reality show?
Andy:  If I had to pick one, I guess the dancing show.
Me:  So You Think You Can Dance is your favorite reality show? *snort*
Andy:  I said if I had to pick one!

He's trying to play it off and pretend he doesn't luuuuurve that show. Trust me... he totes does. To the point where he's all, (say this in the gay man South Park voice) "Hm, I dunno. It didn't really look like there was any chemistry between them. Plus those lifts were just horrible."

Me:  Are you sure it isn't *actually* Jersey Shore?
Andy:  I'm pretty positive it's not.

I'm pretty positive he's a LIAR.

Me:  Do you like the fact that I already had that last question written down because I knew you were going to lie and not admit that Jersey Shore is your favorite show?
Andy:  Jersey Shore is not my favorite show, ok?

Cleopatra, Queen of Denial, y'all.

Me:  Moving on, which of your dogs do you love the least?
Andy:  The least?? What the... That's fucked up, Sara.
Me:  Like if you could only save two of our three precious babies, and they were all looking at you with those big, sad eyes... who would you leave behind to die an untimely death?
Andy:  (With no pause at all...) It would have to be Penny Lane.
Me:  What the fuck, Andy? You're such an asshole!
Andy:  Listen, she's the lowest on the totem pole.

The correct answer to that question? I would sacrifice my own life before I let any of our adorable children die.

Me:  Are you excited about getting married? *evil glare*
Andy:  Yes.

I'm pretty sure he's more excited about having his ring than the whole being married to me part. He won't stop bitching about the fact that men don't get to wear engagement rings and that's not fair and booo hooooooo.

Me:  Is it going to annoy you if Sara refers to herself as Sara through this whole interview?
Andy:  Kind of, yes.
Me:  I'm going to do it anyway.
Andy:  Sigh.
Me:  HA! I already had that response written down, too, because I FUCKING KNEW you were going to say that! So predictable.
Andy:  (Sighing and shaking his head back and forth probably because he's embarrassed about how predictable he is.)

Me:  Anyways... so does Sara really swear that much?
Andy:  Andy doesn't think that Sara swears that much.
Me: Are you going to do this for the rest of the interview?
Andy:  Yeah, I am.
Me:  Unless you mess up like you did right then? That's cool. You're just gonna completely forget what you were going for. I like that.

It's just too easy.

Me:  How often do you read/stalk Sara's blog?
Andy:  Not too often.
Me:  Really?
Andy:  Yeah, really.
Me:  :face that doesn't quite believe what she's hearing:
Andy: Seriously.
Me:  You dont stalk it?
Andy:  I don't have... Ahem! Andy doesn't have time to stalk Sara's blog while Andy is at work. Andy has a lot of stuff to do while he's at work, unlike Sara.

Isn't it cute how he tries, though?

Me:  Do you think it's funny?
Andy:  Yeah, it's funny.

Me:  Have you ever ROFL at something on Sara's blog?
Andy:  (Pause) Is that...Is that roll on the floor laughing? Uh, I can't say that I've rolled on the floor laughing, no.

Completely unbelievable. I know for a fact that every single one of you rolls on the floor laughing every time you read a new post. #letmekeepdreamingplease (Also, can someone explain to me why I think hashtags are so fucking hilarious?)

Me:  Did you really bet Sara a seafood dinner that she couldn't get 100 followers? cough STUPID cough.
Andy:  Well, yeah.

Me:  Do you regret being a dickhole and not believing in her amazingness?
Dickhole:  I was not being a dickhole.

...says the dickhole.

Me:  Does Sara accurately portray you on her blog?
Andy:  No.
Me:  That's it? If you're gonna say no, you better have a reason.
Andy:  I'm much cooler than the Andy on the blog. I'm much cooler than that.
Me:  Snort.
Andy:  Yes I am!

Me:  If you had a band, what would your band name be?
Andy:  Infected Pimple.
Me:  That's gonna sell a lot of records.

Me:  Do you think "Prettier than Penises" is the best band name ever?
Andy:  No.
Me:  But it's got the alliteration, the "P" noise...
Andy:  No.
Me: ...and the penis part of it will draw people to it. And Prettier than Penises has a girly bit to it...
Andy:  No.
Me: ...but also it could be a guy band so you don't really know so you've gotta check it out.
Andy:  The only people it would draw to it would be little preteen girls who would hear the word penis and be like AHHHH!
Me:  But also little preteen boys would too just because they'd want to say the word penis so they'd be a fan of the band just so they could say penis.
Andy:  But then his friends would be like, "Man you're fucking gay because you listen to the penis band. You got the penis band CD."
Me:  Hm, you might have a legitimate argument there...... for once.

*Insert tangent about better band names that involve the words penis and vagina*



Me:  What is your best advice concerning vaginas?
Me:  This was asked by someone else, FYI. I don't need advice about vaginas. Just sayin'.
Andy:  Be nice to them?
Me:  If you could give one piece of advice to the world concerning vaginas, that's what it is? That's it?
Andy:  Well, I mean....
Me:  Yeah, you're WAY cooler than Andy on the blog.
Andy starts getting exasperated at this point.
Andy:  Advice for what? For getting with vaginas? For taking care of vaginas?
Me:  You could be creative with it instead of just "be nice to it". I have to post this shit for people to read. ENTERTAIN THE MASSES, ANDY.
Andy:  Ok, fine, keep your vagina clean.
Me:  What the fuck? Don't you think the men need to know a little more about vaginas than the women do? I think we've got the whole vagina thing under control, thanks.

Pretty sure Andy gave up arguing with me by this point.

Me:  What do you think about large clits AKA small penis-looking things?
Andy:  I mean, it's part of a vagina so it's all good.
Me:  But if it's so big it looks like a little penis?
Andy:  Well if it's as big as my fucking thumb, then...
Me:  That's disturbing.
Andy:  Like a little penis sticking out... that'd be a problem.
Me:  You could fuck each other.
Andy:  I'm pretty sure if you've already gotten to that stage of the game and you're already looking at it up close, it's not gonna fucking matter. It's a vagina.
Me:  No way! You really think your dick wouldn't just WOMP WOMP WOMP when you saw a penis looking thing coming from the crotchal region of a girl?
Andy:  I don't know. I think we have two different images in our heads.
Me:  I think we may need to relearn the parts of my private areas better.

ifyaknowhatimean

Me:  Where is the weirdest place you've gotten a boner?
Andy:  Anywhere? Uh, the DMV?

Riiiiiight.

Me:  What would you say if Sara asked you for a golden shower?
Andy:  I would ask what her fucking problem is. Weirdo.
Me:  What if that was just something I liked?
Andy:  I know it's not something you like.
Me:  What if I did? We're gonna be married. We have to work through things like this.
Andy:  Well then you would need to explain to me why you wanted me to pee on you.

Insert Andy singing, "I want to piss on you! Yes, I do... I'll piss on you, I'll piss on you."

Me:  Who is on your "cheat list"?
Andy:  I don't have a cheat list.
Me: FUCK! My friend and I were talking about the questions I should ask, and she said I should ask the cheat list question and be all, "No, no. Answer it! I'm not going to be mad, silly" except when you answer it be like, "WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE, YOU ARE SUCH AN ASSHOLE!"
Andy:  Well I knew it was a loaded question so there.

Fucking RUINED.

*Title courtesy of my lovah, Lorraine.


PS. These two videos made MY ENTIRE EFFING LIFE when I saw them.

Courtesy of my best bloggy friend who also happened to get me the BEST motherfucking presents ever and when I opened it, I fell a little more in love with her and I'm pretty surprised I didn't have a heart attack from how happy I was. (I'll post pictures soon!) Wow, that last thing was absolutely not a sentence, but that's how my head sounds right now after two Starbucks drinks and half an adipex so let's just roll with it! Anycrazybitchwho, here's the video she blessed me with. And now that I've spent twenty thousand years introducing the video, here it is:


*I have no clue why it's cutting part of the video off. Sorry folks!

And then there is the video that should probably be the mascot for Sara Swears A Lot, if it was possible for a video to be a mascot. It would probably be one of those mascots that thinks it's really cool except actually it smells really bad in that outfit and the person inside is sweating like a beast and when he tries to pump the crowd up at a pep ralley, he thinks that everyone is cheering for him except really they're all booing but the mascot head is so bulky, he can't tell the difference and then he gets stuffed in a trash can after the game and THAT REALLY WASN'T NICE, YOU GUYS, I SMELLED LIKE MYSTERY THURSDAY FOR A WEEK AFTER THAT.

Wait.... what?

Anystopjudgingmeway, this video was presented to me by the lovely Ella who has officially made my life. Enjoy!



PSS. I pimped out blogs like a motherfucker today, yo. So clickity click those links because they're all enjoyable.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

INTOXIVLOG!

My very first intoxivlog EVER is finally edited (by my fabulous fiancee) and posted for your enjoyment. It was filmed the night I wrote about earlier.

I'm hoping someone will notice something in particular in this video, but I don't want to say what because I think it will be super fucking hilarious if one of y'all makes fun of me for it first. Enjoy!
video

Drunk & Disorderly

Last weekend was ah-maz-ing. It was one of my best friend's 21st birthdays and we got DRUUUUNK. (We shall refer to her as Boobs Mctitsalot for very good reason.) Also, I brought along the video camera because I fucking love y'all and HOLY HELL did I get some good shit or what.

Andy is in the process of editing it because I gave him road head he loves me so I promise I'll get it posted tonight or tomorrow, stalkers.

We started the evening out at an Italian restaurant because we're classy, and I definitely had a glass of wine, and I definitely didn't start talking about the side effects of weed with my waiter. Okay, I did, but I promise it applied to the conversation. The waiter knew one of the people at the table, and he was telling two girls sitting across from me how he got kicked off the debate team in high school for smoking weed.

Waiter:  I mean, they acted like it was some horrible drug or something...

Me:  Excuse me, sir?

Waiter:  Yes, ma'am, did you need something?

Me:  I just wanted to say that I don't think you realize the repercussions of smoking marijuana. I hear that if you smoke, your dog will start talking to you, and you'll forget to pick your son up from swim practice.

................................

Random Girl Across Table:  And you'll hit little girls on bikes.

ZING!

Finally! I find someone who can finish a joke I start without making me feel like a complete jackass.

From there, it was another friend's birthday (so damn rude of them to have their birthdays on the same night) so we headed to her house to have a few drinks with her. And I had a VERY special treat coming along for the ride that would make me the baddest bitch in town, SON! (Adding SON to the end of any sentence will make it sound super legit, swearsies.)
 
*That's right. That's a motherfucking WINE LANYARD around my neck. I rocked that shit like a pro. No spillage here!*

And I got to see a friend I haven't seen in a long time. And everyone wanted to take a picture with my lanyard, obvi so I succumbed and took pictures with the peasants who weren't classy enough to have their own.

We didn't stay there long thanks to the fact that every fucking person there was in the puking stages of drinking. They obviously weren't as professional and classy as me with my wine lanyard.

We headed to Mojos, a bar downtown because Boobs Mctitsalot's boyfriend's band was playing there that night. And I was so drunk that I'll just let Twitter take over for a second. 

No one else is tweeting about drunkeness and blow jays and this makes me sad. #stepitupdrunkies  

Band just played four non blondes. Ohmygod I'm too drunk for this. WHAT'S GOING ON?!
After that last tweet, the band started packing up and for some reason, I decided it would be a good idea for DRUNK OFF MY ASS ME to help my DRUNK OFF HER ASS BEST FRIEND get her shit together and get safely to her boyfriend's car. So I grabbed her purse and her arm because she was falling all over the place and was walking her in the general direction of outside when she was all, "Sara! We need to do another birthday shot!!" and I was all, "But you're REALLY drunk, and I think I am, too, and we've already had three shots in the last hour," and she was all, "Just one more shot?" so I was all, "Well, it IS your birthday so.... SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!"

So after we got another motherfucking shot that we probably definitely didn't need, I started to walk her back out to her boyfriend's car again. Which required climbing ONTO the stage and then climbing back OFF and walking out the back door.

Sounds simple, right?

Notsomuch.

Boobs Mctitsalot decided to forge ahead at the climbing off the stage part. I slurred said in a total sober and normal voice, "Wait for me so I can help you!" But alas, drunkies don't take direction well, and she BUSTED. HER. ASS. falling off that stage. It was a magical moment for us all.

I picked her up off the ground and basically carried her to the car. Thank God it was parked right outside because JESUS CHRIST that girl's boobs probably weigh twenty pounds alone. While her boyfriend finished loading all the equipment into the car, I helped her stand up with her back against the car so she wouldn't fall down again.

Which sounds like a brilliant idea, right?

Except no.

Because she kept trying to grab my vagina. No, SERIOUSLY. I am not just making this shit up so that I can say I mentioned "vagina" in another post. She tried sticking her hand up my dress three times, and I was all, "Um, Boobs? That's my vagina you're grabbing... Maybe you should calm down." Except I was drunk and so it was probably more like, "BOOBS, OHMYGOD, YOU ARE GRABBING MY VAGINA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING AHHHHH!"

And she apparently thought that was hilarious because then she made a SOLID effort to grab my vagina by lifting my dress up to my head and yelling, "I'M GRABBING SARA'S VAGINA!" The only thing I could think of in my drunkenness to keep her from showing my girly bits to the world was basically to smoosh our bodies together and press her against the car. (That sounds a lot sexier than it was in real life, promise.) Which was a good plan and all except that Boobs Mctitsalot reached for my vagina AGAIN and tipped us over which resulted in us landing in a pile of Whore on the concrete which resulted in us giggling uncontrollably while our vaginas were out for all the world to see until her boyfriend came over to help her up which caused her to accidentally push me and make me fall ALL FUCKING OVER AGAIN.

After many "I luhhhveee y'aaaallll"s and many, many more drunken hugs, Andy and I started walking back to my car and on the way, we saw two friends at the burrito stand (OHMYGOD BURRITOS, Y'ALL) so of course I had to yell from across the road, "BOOBS TRIED TO GRAB MY VAGINA FIVE TIMES BEFORE I LEFT!" Who knows what those weird looks I was getting were about anyways?

We did eventually make it home, and I totes filmed my INTOXIVLOG for y'all. Because I'm just THAT generous. And then I raped Twitter all over again.


Okay y'all, I just filmed my INTOXIVLOG! Will rewatch sober tomorrow and decide whether it's post-able or not. BOO-YAH.

I feel like saying lots of weird phrases on Twitter just to annoy the fuck out of you when you wake up. SHAZAM!

@ Everyone - Please ignore my twitter tomorrow morning. Drunken me tweets ENTIRELY too fucking much. I got excited. Did that sound dirty?
So yeah. The intoxivlog is so fucking badass and two someones VERY special make a guest appearance so look forward to that shit. As for now, I'm still avoiding alcohol thanks to being hungover until 6 PM on Sunday.

I believe this picture really show just how happy I was to be drunken this weekend:


PS - Speaking of vaginas..... clickity click here. (Totes SFW, promise.)

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Classy Is As Classy Does

Andy and I are watching The Newlywed Game and the question is, "The first place we kissed is ________ and the first place we had sex is __________."

Andy: On my couch and in my bed. *smiles lovingly at his beautiful fiancee AKA me*

Me: Aw, isn't he just the sweetest....

Andy: ON THE SAME NIGHT!!! *high five*

(He speaketh the truth.)


PS - The new "slogan" in the header at the top is courtesy of Nicole. It suits me, no?

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Seven Traumatic Pictures From Sara's Childhood

So not ONE person said they didn't want to see me do a vlog in the poll so that was pretty sexciting. Also, I'm thinking of keeping a poll on this bloggity blog for a while and just switching out the questions every once in a while. So keep a look out for that.

Now on to the vlog! I was given the "assignment" of doing a Seven Things meme that was given to me by Aly from Calling People Names. I decided to do it in vlog form because I'm awesomeamazingcool like that. Also, don't judge harshly. It's fucking difficult to be entertaining doing a one-sided conversation. Besides the awkward one-sided conversation part, this is pretty much how I sound because I didn't edit this thing AT ALL because I don't know how to edit videos I wanted y'all to experience me as I really am.

Oh, but there was an edit button that I did figure out, and it made this glow on my face that makes it look like I'm in heaven so I kept it. You're welcome.

*Video best if viewed with pants off.

video

And I guess I need to pass this shit on now, huh? Here are the seven lucky bitches that I am challenging to complete the Seven Things meme. And I'm mainly challenging these particular people because I desperately want them to do it in vlog form. I tried to only pick people that I'm fairly certain aren't anonymous. So DO IT!

Bianca at Bianca and the B-Sides (A new favorite!)
Courtney at Uncourked
Nicole at Sweeney Says...
The Tsaritsa at the Tsaritsa sez

After the weekend of the 18th, you'll be able to see me as I really, really am because I'm meeting a bloggity friend (Nug) (who I'm obviously also tagging) in NEW FUCKING ORLEANS because she's the best and has decided to make a trip with a friend here and our plan is to make a DRUNK VLOG. A druvlog, if you will. If you're anywhere close enough to make a last minute decision to get drunken with us in NOLA, please send me an email because I would love to meet you. (Blow jays not necessarily a given, but y'neverknow, y'know?)

Friday, September 3, 2010

Flashback Friday *UPDATED*

Today's theme is Flashback Friday! Don't count on me to keep this weekly theme up though because I kind of suck at remembering to do them. But I've compiled a few pictures to walk you through the life of Sara, starting at the beginning. (No, not at my mom's vagina. Stop being gross. And stop thinking about my mom's vagina. Pervs.)

Sidenote: Before we start, I have exciting news! Andy has agreed to let me interview him for the bloggity blog even though he's super shy, and I didn't even have to promise him blow jays or anything because he said, "You're going to give blow jays anyways," which isn't exactly a good thing because WTF, I'm being punished for being an awesome fiancee, amiright? Anyways, if you want me to ask a question for you while I'm doing my interview, leave it in the comments section and I promise I'll ask him. (Unless it's incrimitating to me.) (Then there's no promises.)

*Starting off with a nudey picture, hells yes!*

*I was often surrounded with presents. That's what happens when you're as amazing as 7-year old me. Also, I had that haircut again up until six months ago. Classy.*


*Blue Crayon Halloween costume. Best. Costume. Ever. Bonus points to me for having a "Fuck you, Mom, I want to go get my motherfucking halloween candy rightfuckingnow!" expression on my face.*


*This was one of the few moments I wasn't sitting by the goal, Native American style, picking weeds. My mom has it up in her living room as if to say, "See? My daughter USED to do stuff besides watch tv and drink wine."*

The time in between these two pictures is a period I like to refer to as "The Dark Years". There aren't many pictures from that time because I was an embarassing, pot-bellied mess of a pre-teen, and I made sure to stay far away from cameras. Don't worry because the few that I do have will be revealed soon! Then you can all point and laugh and throw rocks at my face so I can relive middle school. Just please don't do the pig's blood on my prom dress thing again because that shit is really difficult to get out of your hair.

*7th grade Sara on the way to church camp. "I love Jesus, yes I do, I love Jesus, how about YOU?!" is what we used to chant. Sigh.... Um, sorry, God.*

*8th grade Sara at Disciple Now weekend held at MY parents' house. I can still name all the books of the Bible in order, thankyouverymuch.*


*10th grade Sara. That fucking whore red lipstick was required. Stopjudgingme.*

*Senior year which was really not that long ago. This is one of the first documented cases of Sara doing duck face EVER. Practically an artifact or something, right?*

Happy weekending, y'all!
UPDATE: I put a poll in the top right corner for y'all! I was thinking of doing my "seven things" task in video form so let me know what you think. : )