Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Drunk Chat Night and a Giveaway!

Remember when I told you that we were going to have a drunken chat on Saturday night via the 20sb chat room? Yeah, that totes happened.

I signed on before I'd even taken my first sip of Four Loko, ready to start the night as soon as possible. The plan was that it would just be me and Andy home, watching MST3K while I drunk chatted away. Except somehow I ended up inviting my sister-in-law and best friend over because I apparently forgot what huge distractions those two bitches are.

I ended up surviving in drunk chat for approximately one hour. In that one hour, we played the most hilarious high school cheerleader game ever called Never Have I Ever. Have you ever played this as an adult? When we've all done everything, ifyaknowwhatimean? It really makes you feel like a Whores 'R Us. And I was actually drinking when I was supposed to be drinking like a real champ.

After realizing that my typing needed to be stopped on account of the millions of typos and exclamation points and butchered half smiley faces, I noticed that Lily was online. And that Lily has Skype. And I have Skype. And we were both drinking. And this became the Christmas miracle of the night.

I immediately Skyped Lily, and we e-met like a couple of drunk bitches in a bar. I was chugging Four Loko like a sorority girl, and she was chugging tequila STRAIGHT FROM THE BOTTLE. I knew at this point that Lily was definitely going to be putting out at the end of our date.

All the details of Saturday night are a little fuzzy, so you might have to ask Lily (if she remembers), but I'm pretty sure I made an ass of myself several times by laughing hysterically at nothing. And at one point, we decided that Lily should play Waterfall with us. When I tried to prop the laptop on the couch next to me, my sister-in-law said, "WTF? Get her a chair, Sara!" like I was the one acting like a crazy person. So I dragged a dining room chair out of the kitchen just to place it next to the coffee table just to place Lily on it just so she could see the cards and play the game with us. Ridiculous, I tell you.

Everyone and their mom plays Waterfall differently. (For instance, my mom plays with no alcohol and instead of cards, she hands out punishments and disapproving stares.) So every time a five got pulled, I had to make sure Lily knew what it stood for by leaning into the laptop and yelling, "FIVE, LILY! IT'S FIVE! HIT YOUR HEAD!" which made for a really smooth game, obviously.

At one point, Lily got disconnected from the internet, and we gave up. Also, I puked at 5 AM. Classy as shit, y'all.

And here is the picture I promised you of "The Thanksgiving Shirt That Looks Absolutely Nothing Like a Girl's Shirt Ever In the History of Ever." I took this picture right when I woke up today because I love you which also explains the horrible quality and yucky bangs.


And now it's time for another blog giveaway! I purchased this badass hat and glove set from Erin at Ultra Cute Crochet. You can look at her other stuff here or here. It made it to my house super fast, and I'm in lurve. And she didn't pay me to say those things. (But I totes don't turn down free money, if you want to offer me a millionty dollars.) Andy keeps calling me a hipster because of my gloves, and I keep calling him a dickhole because I look adorable and warm.
And here's the hat I'm giving away!
My face is saying, "I really like this hat and don't particularly want to give it away. Sad panda." It's a very pretty blue, and it has a bow on the side and also it grants wishes and cures world hunger. Since it's almost Christmas and everyone is exhausted and broke as shit, all you have to do to enter the giveaway is leave a comment below. One entry per comment, and you can only enter up to 3 times because we don't want any greedy bitchezz round hurrrrr.

I'll be busy with three Christmases in two days this year, so I probably won't be writing much before the new year unless I die on the way to Oklahoma in a freak car accident in which case my computer will send out emails informing all of you about my death and giving you your speeches for my funeral and exact specifications about what panties I should be wearing. (These things are important, y'all.)

83 comments:

  1. OK HERE'S MY THIRD ENTRY GIVE ME HAT PLZ

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  2. You're hilarious! I would totally try and make one of my friends play games over skype too.

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  3. Three comments in, and I'm already laughing.

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  4. I'm really sad I missed drunk chat night on 20sb. But i was actually at a bar getting drunk for my friend/coworker K*'s 24th birthday. But i totes promise i will show for the next one... assuming its on like a Wednesday night or some shit.

    Also that hat is totes awesome, no wonder you are sad panda about giving it away.

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  5. You know what? You are one cool cat....and you DO swear a lot...I admire that about you...
    Sad Panda/Pondering Panda/Flatulent Panda/Coked up Panda...you could probably pull them all off (photographically speaking, of course)...I know that sounded dirty but it wasn't intentional...
    Every time I hear a firecracker go off, I punch a gardener...it's just something I do...

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  6. I like your boy shirt. I would probably rock that with some jeggings, maybe belt it at the waits, and voila! Girl shirt!!

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  7. Also, the gloves and hats are sweet, but I wouldn't say hipster necessarily. It doesn't have a mustache, for one.

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  8. Okay, third comment. I'm a little sad you didn't also recount the events of me popping your Skype cherry, but I'll live. Or go cry in this corner. Boo-hoo :(

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  9. NOOOOO I need this hat. Blue is my fav! It would go great with my BLUE eyes,
    and my
    birthday is coming up.

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  10. Did I say that my birthday is the same as Elvis?
    Well it is so that kinda makes me just as awesome right?

    I really need that lovely blue hat!

    Just sayin.......

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  11. Entry 1 - This hat matches with you October undies that are now in my possession. Obviously, I should own the hat.

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  12. Entry B - That face doesn't say "sad panda" to me, it says "I'm not wearing any pants right now with my awesome blue hat. What do you think of that? RAWR."

    Maybe I'm reading too much into this picture, ifyouknowwhatImean.

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  13. Everyone and their mom plays Waterfall differently. (For instance, my mom plays with no alcohol and instead of cards, she hands out punishments and disapproving stares.)


    -particularly brilliant. *love*

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  14. Entry Cat - I didn't get to drunk chat because I was babysitting my neice last minute on a SATURDAY NIGHT. This totes meant no alcohol and yes pants, which if you ask me is TRAGIC. This trauma this tragedy has caused obviously is only cured by a cute, free blue hate.

    Seriously. You can WebMD it. I'm totes not lying.

    I. Need. Hat.

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  15. I meant hat, not hate. I'M SO EXCITED TO WIN. I CAN BARELY TYPE. GIVE ME THAT HAT.

    (This is not an official entry.)

    (Unless you want it to be.)

    (Unless this disqualifies me, in which case, I just wanted to corrected my million typos.)

    (I know how to spell people, promise!)

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  16. Does the best plea win? If so, I bow to Lorraine because she obvi gets it every time!

    (Entry 1)

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  17. Ps: I deserve that hat because I swear I will walk around with that sad panda face on all.the.time. Sad panda for you having to part with the precious hat. Ohhh, my preeeciousss.

    (Entry 2)

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  18. Pps: Blue looks fabulous on me.

    (Entry 3)

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  19. If yall were smart you would space out your entries to give you better odds. Duh.

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  20. That's how I usually plan it, too, Jes, so instead I'm just going to put everyone's name in the adorable blue hat and draw a winner that way. :)

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  21. Now I don't particularly need the hat, but I would really like it. I probably wouldn't wear it myself but I would use it as a gift to some young lady that most definitely deserves it.

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  22. Oh to busy thinking of who I'd give that amazing hat to, I forgot to actually comment. I can't honestly say I've drunk skype'd before but I have drunk Video gamed with friends. This was particularly hilarious because the game I was playing required me to actually have skill. I wasn't good at the game to begin with, being drunk just made it funny.

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  23. Waterfall... is this also known as socialables when each one of the 13 different cards in the deck means something else. IE. queen = girls drink, jack = guys drink... etc.? <=== what is the proper punctuation for that?

    Hehe, third post.

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  24. That's the one! It's also called Kings apparently.

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  25. This is going to be rigged argh! That hat is super cute though and would go great with my jacket and blue eyes.

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  26. Rigged?! Never!! I'll film it for you. :) Mama didn't make no liar out of me!

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  27. Lily put out for you? I need to get her drunk(er)
    Also, I'm sorry I couldn't cum to the chat. It was six in the morning here and I was sleeping.
    :(

    Maybe the next drunk chat could be more like at 6 pm next time? Cuz that's totally midnight for me. ...I can go as late as two for a starter but I will be laughed at.

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  28. Blue hats go great with...no pants. I gather that is what Lor was saying? Maybe I read that wrong. Damn it.

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  29. Snap! I forgot I was skyping too with Lily for a bit then I had to go out and find some Four Loko, which I did. SUCCESS!

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  30. Wait, wait, wait.

    Lily was skyping with you the other night, too????

    I feel so.... used.

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  31. Your bangs are way cute. Srsly.

    Hat. I want.

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  32. I totes want that hat. And I deserve it, because I used "totes" which I had never heard before reading your bloggy-blog.

    Also? You're super cute. And I'm not just saying that.

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  33. i have never used skype, and that makes me sad, but that hat would make it so much better!

    Entry 1

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  34. Don't feel used Sara, I am a bore anyway. I make weird lips when I talk too which is not cute.

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  35. That hat was wicked adorable. My head wants it.

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  36. You're awesome and your hat's awesome!

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  37. "The Thanksgiving Shirt That Looks Absolutely Nothing Like a Girl's Shirt Ever In the History of Ever."

    ...I'm pretty sure I have a shirt exactly like that. I'm a girl. (however it was probably purchased from the boy's section back when I was trying to not be cute and girlie. that time has passed. so, I need cute hat!)

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  38. 20sb chat, probably the most humorous chat to stay by when you're trashed. Love it.

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  39. Well obviously I'm not trying to win the hat and gloves, what with it the fact that it would clash ever so slightly with my being a man, but masculinity aside (sadly, something that happens frequently when reading some of my favorite blogs) I like the gloves. Looks like a knitted version of Zelda gloves.

    The story is hilarious. Playing Waterfall over the internet is crazy silly.

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  40. Also, we call that game Circle of Death. Apparently every state has a different name for it, WTF. But seriously Circle of Death is the best fucking name ever.

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  41. "I don't remember much from saturday night" .... generally a line reserved for Saturday nights in which I attended a frat party.

    entry 1

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  42. I was also skye-ing wth Rox. But we didn't play a drinking game.

    entry 2

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  43. This was funny as shit. And not because I've been drinking...really. But I don't want the hat...which in my unfortunate world means I will win. Why this luck never translates to Vegas, I may never know.

    But really. Funny. No hat.

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  44. Ugh, I CANNOT believe I was only there for the first like, ten minutes. I fail at life.

    Also, I'm getting Skype soon! YES!

    And I need that hat, only you look totally cute in it and shouldn't give it to anyone.

    See you in Looeeseeanna very very very soon. <3<3<3

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  45. So, I was looking at that picture (the cute blue hat one), and thinking "Damn, that reminds of someone from a movie.. Which movie? And who?"

    So after racking my brain for many many seconds, it hit me.

    Yes Man, Zooey Deschanel.

    You totallly got the same look going on there.

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  46. I want the hunger curing world hunger blue hat.

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  47. I love the fact that is cures world hunger!

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  48. I want that hat. If you give me that hat, I will wear it. All the time. And then I will drunk Skype you (uhhh, finally, because we haven't done that yet somehow) while wearing the hat and you'll be all, holy shit, you're wearing the hat. And I'll be like, fucking right I'm wearing the hat, it grants wishes and also makes me happy in the pants.

    Also, I'm only going to leave one comment, because I only want one entry in the hat. Because then that way, when I win, it'll be like "holy shit, he only had one entry - I guess the hat was MEANT TO BELONG TO HIM BECAUSE HE WOULD LOOK SO SEXY IN IT."

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  49. entry 1:
    sara i love you and i put you on my blogroll!

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  50. entry 2:
    this hat is totally adorable, and i would so rock it.

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  51. entry 3: plus you could save on shipping, since you'll see me in january.. (bribe, bribe)

    : ]

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  52. GUTTED that I missed Skype chat and drunken 20sb chat :( Damn time zones and work and fucking adult life. Damn it to hell.

    I miss you face.

    You should keep the blue hat. It looks GREAT on you. Seriously.

    x

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  53. Holy shit at the fucking comments on this bitch. (entry comment number one. Because I'm a whore.)

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  54. I fucking wish I hadn't gotten sick and like a fucking bitch fell asleep induced by Nyquil. That chat sounded super fun. :P Yum.

    (entry comment number 2. the poo comment.)

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  55. I want that hat, and if I don't win, I'm stealing it from you before you can send it. MUAHAHAHAHA!

    (gratuitous entry comment number three. the I'm really annoying for bombarding you comment. booyeah.)

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  56. Is the "The Thanksgiving Shirt That Looks Absolutely Nothing Like a Girl's Shirt Ever In the History of Ever." up for grabs? I think that would look amazing on me. Just sayin.

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  57. LOL. you are a funny girl sara, loving the hat!

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  58. I luuuurrrve the hat!
    Did you decide who yet? I've been MIA for a bit so just checking up on the blogosphere.

    I would sport that hat and look bitchingly smurfy!

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  59. MaryV09876@yahoo.com My head is cold.

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  60. MaryV09876@yahoo.com. also, world hunger is a total downer...

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  61. Maryv09876@yahoo.com. If I won a wish granting hat I would wish for more hats.

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  62. I don't need anymore hats...my drunk hat klepto personality makes sure I have every hat I will ever need, you need a police hat? wait there, how about one that looks like a sheep? no problem, maybe feeling in the mood for mexican? or perhaps a hat that believes in midget clowns???

    I consider myself a grown up...I do honest and we still love never have I ever, it's true you feel like a filthy whore after a certain age and it's even worse in my group of friends, we get down to the real horrid shit...sometimes actual shit...in a room full of whores with no standards and you're the only one drinking...then you feel worse than a hookertramp

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  63. You're adorable and hilarious and I think we'd be good friends if not for the fact that we live a bajillion miles away from each other. Sad times. Also, I've been using Skype for over a year to keep in touch with my friends, why the HELL hadn't I though of including them in my drunken fun before? You're a genius.

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  64. If I wore that shirt, my mom would just think I had reverted back to the days when I actually used to wear shirts like that.

    I'm pretty sure I wore mostly boy clothing until the end of high school.

    No, wait. Actually, I still wore it at the end of high school.

    It wasn't until college that I fully cleared the boy-clothing out of my wardrobe.

    Also, cute and crazy awesome hat.

    And I'm REALLY sad I missed drunk chat. Even though I wouldn't have been drunk, it would have been SO MUCH fun.

    Merry Belated Christmas!

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  65. Oh you and your shenanigans that I really don't know about, but I am pretending to know about by saying "you and your shenanigans."

    Also, I would enter to win this hat because it's awesome, but I think that DateMeDC is going to poop herself if she doesn't win, so I'll enter another entry for her.

    Whitney

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