Okay, so I've obviously been MIA for a while. I blame the karaoke video. How the fuck could I top that? Btdubs, the next karaoke theme is going to be show tunes and OHMYFUCKINGGOD do I have the best song ever or what. (There was a hint in that paragraph on what song I'm doing. Maybe you can figure it out if you're supah smart. And maybe I'll send you a prize if you do it. And by it, I do mean what you think I mean.)
Just. Fucking. Wait.
Anyexcusesexcuses, I have finals next week which means it is ON after that. I plan on getting drunk and making lots of things grow, ifyouknowwhatimean. Except seriously because my bloggity friend sent me a box full of things that grow with water (and a little stroking probably).
Oh, and me and Andy have another bet going. We're both going to get prezzies for that Operation Santa thing, but don't be all "AWWWW y'all are the sweetest evah!" because this is totally selfish. I'm only doing this because I bet Andy that my present would kick all kinds of his present's ass. So I'm picking out an amazingly wonderful awesome cool girl present and he's picking out some stupid ass boy toy. (ifyouknowwhatimean?)
In other news, we went to Andy's mother's house for Thanksgiving, and she blessed me with the holy-est of all holy grails. She gave me........ HOME VIDEOS.
We started watching one of them, and it was all adorable and sweet and Andy with a baby lisp. And then? And then! His grandma was on the video rocking some daisy dukes, for reals, y'all. We were laughing about it while his grandpa filmed his grandma telling a story until grandpa apparently got sidetracked because he zoomed in on grandma's foot and started slowly panning up her leg and we were all "Um... what's going on..." until he panned all the way up to her VAGINA and we were all "OHMYGOD, MY EYES TAKE MY EYES PRECIOUS BABY JESUS, GRANDMA VAGINA AHHHHH" and then I'm pretty sure I died.
Also, my friend started a blog, and she was my little sister on danceline which probably means nothing to you mofos but it's special, goddamnit, so just accept it and move on. She wrote a post about Louisiana, and I liked it so I'm linking it and there's nothing you can do about it. If you leave a comment, tell her I said hi on account of she lives in Kansas for right now and I haven't seen her in about twenty thousand years (that's only a slight exaggeration).
I feel like this blog post is super hostile. But I'm on my period which exempts me from all charges, I'm pretty sure.
Oh, and I added some ads on the right side, so if you see something that interests you, clickity click it and you can donate pennies to the that-bitch-needs-a-goddamn-haircut fund. And then Adsense can yell at me because I'm not supposed to even mention ads or something and by the way, how the fuck did Adsense approve my account because the rules say "no excessive profanity" and the name of my blog is Sara Swears A. LOT. bitches. Obviously the people who take care of this bit-ness have no clue what they're doing, but I'm okay with that. I'll probably be kicked out of the Adsense team, mocked and ridiculed, for my "excessive profanity" and braces and frizzy hair and fat lardy stomach and shit, my bad, just reliving middle school over here.
Jesus Christ, this post is a mess.