Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Um, hi?

So I took a Valium yesterday and calmed down and was like..... Wow, this is going to be really embarrassing because I'm obviously going to miss those crazies more than I realize and when this whole thing blows over, it's going to be totes awkward especially when I say that the situation is something I'd rather not blog about because everyone knows that just makes you want to know more so now I seem like I'm being vague on purpose but I'm totally not, ok? Ok.

Concerning yesterday? My relationship will always take precedence over almost everything else. (Besides Starbucks fraps, that is. Because Starbucks fraps are like a gift from Baby Jesus in a tuxedo shirt. Because he's formal.... but he likes to party. Duh.) So basically I'm an idiot sometimes because I'm a woman and my brain is smaller so it's not my fault. (Scientifically proven, y'all.)*

Besides the whole relationship thing, there's just SO MUCH going on in my life right now what with school, work, purchasing a new camera, getting bangs, participating in the sexy time with a fiancee who doesn't hate me even when I'm crazy and don't take antidepressants and flip out with rage like the motherfucking hulk or something.

I mean, seriously, y'all. It's like one second we're sitting on the couch having a discussion, and the next I look like I'm fucking 'roid raging or something because I'm making a noise like RAAAWWRRRRAFOIAJUFOIWE and ripping my shirt off which seems like it would be sexy except that I have green skin under said shirt and also pecs rather than breasts so joke's on you, playa!

Andy might THINK he has it bad when situations like this arise, but he didn't see me in high school. Barely a week could go through my house without hearing me yelling, "I hate you!" or "You're ruining my life!" or "You don't want me to be happy!"

Yes. I WAS that teenage girl, and this is the exact reason that Andy often says, "Dear Baby Jesus, PLEASE don't let us have a girl" even though we aren't even trying to have a baby because I make way too many jokes about girls getting pregnant out of wedlock.

Speaking of wedlock, I have made a bad joke about having babies out of wedlock twice now.... and BOTH motherfucking times, a coworker has said, "Um, Sara? I have a baby out of wedlock."

Heh, heh... Uh, duh. I knew that. That's why I made the joke, silly. Kind of like when you're talking shit about someone walking behind you, and they say something, and you have to turn around and play it cool and be all, "HA HA HA. Girl, you so crazy. I knew you were walking behind me OBVIOUSLY. Heh. Love ya?"

Anyways, that was all to say.... Hi. I'm going to be a good bloggy friend, a good fiancee, a good student, a good doggy mommy, a good exerciser, and a good worker.

LOL, JK about the good exerciser part. Y'all didn't think I was serious about that, right?

*I almost got kicked off of 20sb for making that comment. I was told that I'm sexist against women.

Well, duh.

Why did we give them the right to vote again?


  1. I totes have a baby out of wedlock. But it's better than getting married and THEN him unboarding the tranny train. I pick my battles.

    And I feel ya girl. Never get your meds through K?

    Nips love.

  2. Sigh of relief. I like that you're here. I like that you repeatedly put your foot in your mouth because it makes me feel less alone. I too rage a little from time to time but meds have helped with that. Then I forgot to take them for awhile and to get the prescription refilled and started feeling really sick. Which also sucked ass.

    Okay so much blathering on for this silly woman. If you haven't, go over to a blog called Single Dad Laughing and read his post called Perfection.

    Now, damnit.

  3. Maybe you are going through a 20-something version of menopause??? Glad you're feeling better. :)

  4. Men have bigger brains, its fact. I hate when people argue with me. It's because they have more nerve endings and they are generally bigger, duh. Us ladies is dainty bitches, yo.

    And you are sexist against women, obviously the fact that you have a blog shows you're not doing your womanly duties of staying in the kitchen and always being available to service my man parts... you should be kicked off the whole world.

  5. I've been on the emotional rollercoaster the last little bit and thank gawd for Manfriend's infinite patience. Part of it is the darkening/shortening days and the other part purely fucking hormones. (ie. me collapsing on my closet floor saying I have nothing to wear that fits me nicely...which prompted him to take me a shopping trip. FTW!)

    *hugs* to you Sara. I'm going on a trip when we get home. We rented an RV and are just going driving. I will try to pick you up some random post cards along the way. By Try..I mean it's my Mission. Just to show you a Canadian chick cares.

  6. YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! SARA'S VACATION IS OVER!!!! Welcome back! Ya took some time off, took some well needed pills (got my bottle next to me now) and you made a comeback. Now...don't let that shit happen again! You scared the fuck outta me!! And yes, YOUR problems ARE ALL ABOUT ME! So glad you are back!!! Hope you are ok!!! {{{Hugs!!}}}

  7. Some people take shit tooo seriously....Wait, I had a baby outta wedlock...and If it weren't for Maury Povich I still wouldn't know who the baby daddy is...Oh wait that wasnt me... I saw that on TV! I hope you have twins Bitch!

  8. I hate to agree but, girls are so much harder to raise. I have a boy & a girl and I can tell you that I wasnt sure I was gonna make it a couple of years while my daughter was in 6th & 7th grade, tough times.

  9. Oh man, do you know what my catchphrase was? 'I DIDN'T ASK TO BE BORN!' Best thing ever. Except when A.B starts using it on me I'm going to have SUCH a hard time not saying 'YEAH WELL I DIDN'T ASK TO BE PREGNANT, YOU CONDOM-DODGING, LIFE-RUINING NUTCASE!'
    Which may seem unspeakably harsh, but dude, I gloved up. It is not my fault Mr A has like, Hulk Sperm or something.
    But I totally won't say that. I'll just think it really loudly in my head.

    I hope things cool off soon, and that you take your damn meds, Sara. Seriously. Meds are good when they stop you ripping the face off of your nearest and not-so-dearest.

  10. Ari - See???? YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME LAUGH.

  11. Wow. You're as dramatic as I am. I thought I was the only one who knew how to get real psychotic. [I tend to roar as well.]

  12. YAY! Fan-fucking-tastic. Now get back to work and make me laugh by saying more inappropriate shiz!

    And PS- I want you to know that I walked around with my fly open all day and just noticed now. It is 9pm.

  13. I'm glad I was apparently so concerned about this whole thing that I didn't even text you until you had come back with a new entry. I'm sure it makes you feel good to know you've got a friend like me.

    Nobutseriously, sometimes you need that afternoon off and a couple of pills and maybe a glass of wine to wash the pills down with, and then all of a sudden you don't know who you are, so you take another pill because you vaguely remember that they help you, and you see that bottle of wine in front of you and decide that it would feel good in your mouth, but then surprisingly liquid comes out of it so you swallow (because obviously you have good blowjay instincts), and then suddenly Fiancee is standing over your hospital bed and the nurse is all "WTF were you doing!" and you have no idea, but they had to pump your stomach and the first thing you think of is "Wow, I really should go back to my blog."

    And I, of course, welcome you back with open arms. I missed you, dude.

  14. I got the dirtiest looks from a bunch of strangers for performing "Superman" by Eminem at karaoke. The KJ even cut me off before the song was over. How can a woman be misogynistic? It doesn't make any sense. Some people just can't take a joke.

    I turn into the Hulk sometimes, too. Pass the Valium.

  15. You know how sometimes that person that lives with you does that one twitchy thing that annoys you and you grumble about it and then they say that you are unreasonable and you're all I'll show you unreasonable and you begin to scream and rail about all the injustices in the world and twitchiness in general and all the screaming dries your throat and you have to pause to drink something and when your done your brain is all what? and where am I? Yeah, me too. Which is to say, I'm glad you're back.

  16. I'm not sure why I didn't read yo' shit sooner. I finally came to check you out, in a nonsexual way, and found myself literally LOL-ing, or ROFL-ing, if you prefer, with each word. I usually just chuckle or "lol" internally when I read funny things, but I actually guffawed. Thank you for that.

  17. yeah, meds suck. going on, tapering off, switching, but ESPECIALLY running's pretty much the suck.

    i'm pretty sure they let the wimmens vote for the chaos theory shenanigans of it all, eh?
    ; ]

  18. Oh I was so that teenager too. Except I think I was more annoying because I tried to use big words and sound highly intellectual while having my temper tantrums. I will never be able to repay my debt to my poor mother for not kicking me out or killing me.

  19. Guess what! I gave you an award! Check it out at:

    (I put it on this post, since the newest one was a guest post.)

  20. Sometimes I just wish they would give me Valium. It would be nice to have for when the other meds don't really work.

  21. You scared us WOMAN! But in all serious, I am glad that you are feeling better.

    Also on the comment you made on 20sb, I didn't see it but f*ck sometimes people take shit either way too seriously or way too literally. Even if you did mean it that way, you are entitled to your opinion!

    Keep smiling and blogging :)

    Luv from Oz

  22. Also, don't you love it when you have a rage freakout and then you reach the Crying Point and just start blubbing and you're all 'OH MY GOD YOU HATE ME DON'T YOU?' and your Penis Possessor is all 'Oh baby, of course I don't hate you!' and you're all '*snot* *sniffle* *attractive pig-snort* So you don't think I'm c-c-c-c-c-crazzzzyyyy? *sob*' and he's all 'No, I think you're the craziest fucking person I've ever met. I just don't hate you. *hairpat*'? I love that. It makes me feel valued. And good in bed. Because you know no man puts up with that much crazy if you are not fucking awesome in bed AMIRIGHT??
    Mr A and your Andy should get together and have a beer. I have a feeling there would be silent understanding between them, while we cackled really loudly in another room, with the odd screech of '..I KNOW RIGHT?!' and '...and then he was ALL UP IN MY...' and '...her VAGINA! VA-GI-NA, MOTHERFUCKER!' and they'd exchange meaningful glances and be all like 'What we don't know won't emotionally scar us.' and clink beerbottles.

    Yeah, that's right, I just started up a bromance between your Penis Possesor and mine in my head. Roll with it, bitch.