Friday, September 3, 2010

Flashback Friday *UPDATED*

Today's theme is Flashback Friday! Don't count on me to keep this weekly theme up though because I kind of suck at remembering to do them. But I've compiled a few pictures to walk you through the life of Sara, starting at the beginning. (No, not at my mom's vagina. Stop being gross. And stop thinking about my mom's vagina. Pervs.)

Sidenote: Before we start, I have exciting news! Andy has agreed to let me interview him for the bloggity blog even though he's super shy, and I didn't even have to promise him blow jays or anything because he said, "You're going to give blow jays anyways," which isn't exactly a good thing because WTF, I'm being punished for being an awesome fiancee, amiright? Anyways, if you want me to ask a question for you while I'm doing my interview, leave it in the comments section and I promise I'll ask him. (Unless it's incrimitating to me.) (Then there's no promises.)

*Starting off with a nudey picture, hells yes!*

*I was often surrounded with presents. That's what happens when you're as amazing as 7-year old me. Also, I had that haircut again up until six months ago. Classy.*

*Blue Crayon Halloween costume. Best. Costume. Ever. Bonus points to me for having a "Fuck you, Mom, I want to go get my motherfucking halloween candy rightfuckingnow!" expression on my face.*

*This was one of the few moments I wasn't sitting by the goal, Native American style, picking weeds. My mom has it up in her living room as if to say, "See? My daughter USED to do stuff besides watch tv and drink wine."*

The time in between these two pictures is a period I like to refer to as "The Dark Years". There aren't many pictures from that time because I was an embarassing, pot-bellied mess of a pre-teen, and I made sure to stay far away from cameras. Don't worry because the few that I do have will be revealed soon! Then you can all point and laugh and throw rocks at my face so I can relive middle school. Just please don't do the pig's blood on my prom dress thing again because that shit is really difficult to get out of your hair.

*7th grade Sara on the way to church camp. "I love Jesus, yes I do, I love Jesus, how about YOU?!" is what we used to chant. Sigh.... Um, sorry, God.*

*8th grade Sara at Disciple Now weekend held at MY parents' house. I can still name all the books of the Bible in order, thankyouverymuch.*

*10th grade Sara. That fucking whore red lipstick was required. Stopjudgingme.*

*Senior year which was really not that long ago. This is one of the first documented cases of Sara doing duck face EVER. Practically an artifact or something, right?*

Happy weekending, y'all!
UPDATE: I put a poll in the top right corner for y'all! I was thinking of doing my "seven things" task in video form so let me know what you think. : )


  1. There's the word vagina again. Always creeps into every single post. bahahaha!

    I love the blue crayon costume. Do they make those for adults? That would be awesome this year for me--I'm not happy about the choices for adults--all slutty school girls/Alice in Wonderlands/Girl Scouts. What happened to a fun costume that doesn't show so much?!

  2. My plan is to be a genius and make my own Halloween costume, as Where's Waldo. Then I'll go out to the bars on Halloween night and just stand in the middle of a random group of people with a coffee mug or a book and have Andy take a picture. Then I can post it on here and y'all can "find" me!

    Brilliant, no?

  3. The soccer picture is the most awesome b/c of the sweatpants under the shorts look...can't beat it.

  4. I remember in high school when I could get away with wear whore red lipstick....sigh those were the days.

  5. I noticed that most of the Little Nicole photographs featured presents. At first I took this to mean that my parents must have really loved me back then. Then I realized that it's just the opposite: holidays were just the primary occasions where my mom thought to take pictures of me. Holidays and after I chopped off my hair. She really loved me.

  6. I like the whole duckface thing... Lately when I take photos of my kids I insist they give me their best EMO look, I will compile and post them all one day!

  7. I went through the "Dark Years," as well.....but no Jesus camp!

    Some kids tried to convert me but that just didn't fly.

    HAHAHAH Churchy geek *Points&Laughs* NeenerNeener..

    ..Wait I was just a dork without baby jesus to back me up.

  8. Love the soccer one.: ) of course

    as for a question for Andy. hmmmmmmmm

    you could ask him if he has ever had a three way.

  9. YOU STOLE MY WHERE'S WALDO COSTUME IDEA, YOU HO. Just kidding, you'd probably be a sexier Waldo than I would. Even though you're a girl and I'm not. Figure that one out.

    Also, I'm pretty sure I also have a few duckface pictures from my senior year of high school. Maybe I should post those...

  10. OMG Sara. When in New York Derek found Waldo! He must have dropped his cap somewheres but it was him at a mutha fucking pizza place at 4 in tha morning. It was a sight. We were eating pizza and all of the sudden Derek looks up and says "I found him." As he walked by. He was wearing the glasses and all. TRUE STORY!

  11. Aww you were such an adorable child!

  12. I can't believe you grew up a bible banger. Impressive.
    And look at you with like a zillion blog followers. You're all big time, girl!!

  13. Church camp? Does. \not. Compute.

  14. Isn't weird that people come out looking like aliens, are cute until around 8-10, ugly until end of high school, peak physically during uni and it's all downhill from there?
    Why can't we be like animals? I want to be a fucking Dalmation where I'm born pure white then get spots at puberty.

  15. You crack me right the hell up!!! I love your answer choices for the poll!!!! Priceless!

  16. This post reminds me of the post I did with all my school pictures.

    Especially the one with the red whore lipstick.


  17. Oh My God. The only other cutest baby alive was me.

    If I weren't such a pussy I would have done something like this. Can't wait for your Seven...

  18. Haha, there are very few pictures of me from age 12 to age 15, my awkward years. I also used to pick weeds in the outfield when I was on the softball team when I was nine, which my dad forced me to join.

    You make a cute blue crayon!

  19. Love love love the pics. Is there any females out there who didn't look dorky or awkward or at the very least uncomfortable between the ages of 11 and 14? If there are, I don't want to know them. Except you Sara, because Jesus lover and all, you were clearly stunning from the start.

    Wanna give me a blow jay now?


  20. Through that entire post you had me thinking about your mums vagina, I don't think I should be looking at pictures of children (even if it is you) while thinking about vaginas...damn you Sara!

  21. I WANT THE PENCIL COSTUME. I can also name all the books in the bible. Fucking childhood indoctrination.

    P.S... Great post

  22. Yo girl, I gave you a blog award! Check it out, yo!

  23. Oh honey no. Hahahah. no. It's so awesome. hahahaha