Monday, April 26, 2010

Getting Personal Up In Here

I haven't really posted anything about me yet so I thought I would give it a go. Here are five things about me that might make you realize just how sad and pathetic I really am.

1. I get terrified walking down stairs. I'm good going up them, but I freak the fuck out walking down them. I have this fear that I'm going to trip and fall all the way down. It made my vacation to NYC very tricky what with all the stairs to and from the subway.

2. (Count how many ball jokes you can come up with here.) I know how to juggle. I taught myself because the owner of the dance studio I went to asked me if I would for the opening act. I got really good at it and even taught my dad how to do it, too. The night of the recital came around, and I was ready to go. I walked out on stage with my balls out (1) and noticed that the stage lights were ridiculously fucking bright. I tried to juggle, but I couldn't see where the balls were to catch them (2). I was all the way upstage when I dropped one ball (3), and it rolled right off the stage. I tried to improvise and just juggle with two when I dropped the second ball (4). I'm pretty sure I just stood on stage looking like I was about to cry for the rest of the opening. It was a really great moment for me.

3. I think that everyone has a little bit of OCD in them, and I have one, too! I run my nails from one hand under my nails of the other hand. (Oh, God. Does this make sense? I think I'm sounding a little crazy now.) Anyways, when I start the nail process, I have to do EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. of my nails or I cannot rest. I have had people honk at me at red lights because I wouldn't go until I was finished with my nails. Fiancee is already used to this little habit. He knows when he's trying to hand me something to wait until I'm done with my nails.

4. I used to pretend I was a dog. I would walk around on all fours, fuck with the family dog, convince my family to pat me on the head and bark. The whole damn she-bang. And I was twelve. My parents should have known something was wrong with me right then. They love telling this one, and I have never brought a boyfriend over that didn't hear that story. And after they tell that one, I have to pull out a story about one of my family members to even it out. Our family dinners are never over until someone has left the table in a huff and slammed a door behind them. I promise we love each other. Sometimes.

5. I snuck out of my house on a weekly basis when I was fifteen to go meet my boyfriend who lived down the road. We made out a lot. After our make-out session, my mouth was sore, and my face was covered in spit. It was super romantical.

*I just had to add that I noticed someone found my blog by googling "fuken sexy very small girl". Um, hey, whoever that was? You have most definitely got the WRONG girl. I am absolutely fuken sexy, but small? Notsomuch.


  1. Hey, I gave you a blog award! Check out my blog for the details!

  2. I don't get terrified walking down the stairs but I think it would be easier if my house had a slide so I could just use it when I'm lazy going down. Haha.

    Oh, and you had an exciting teenage life. ☺

  3. Your family and my family sound verrrrry similar. That's how every get together goes: cue stories and harassment, laughter, anger, sometimes tears, then cake.

    I loved this list. :)

  4. I'm nervous on open stairs - but more so going up than down. If I can see the ground below on a staircase I get nervous.

    Also, I hate walking on the inside of the stairs, like if someone forces me away from the handrail I get nervous.

  5. ok, I'm a little disappointed! this could be all kinds of wrong, but i think your first ball joke should have started at, "i got really good at it and even taught my dad how to do it, too." classic. and totally weird. also? i agree with the whole OCD thing. my most annoying one is probably the fact that when i brush my teeth and i spit, and then i'm swooshing the water in my mouth... i can't spit out the water until i have thoroughly cleaned the sink. fucking gawd-awful.

  6. Gnetch - The slide thing is an awesome idea. I'll have to look into having that added to my house. Also, my teenage life was way more exciting than my adult life. I could write blog posts for days about my teenage life.

    OWO - It must be that Southern family thing!

    Allison - Oh, I hate walking on the inside, too! I have to have something to hold on to even if the rail is all germy.

    rbandj - I could have totally taken that joke, but I think I might have had nightmares for a week if I had gone there. And you would hate to have to brush your teeth at my house. My sink is di-scus-ting. (I lengthened that so you could get the full effect.)

  7. LOL - I can't have one foot step on a different surface from the other. so if my left heel presses on the step as i go the stairs, the right heel must hit another step with the same amount of pressure. you get the idea. not all the time, but once i start, it's very difficult to let go.

  8. I get nervous doing stairs too. I can walk up stairs in 4 in stiletto heels - but walking down?! I'm always afraid I'm going to break my neck.

  9. A Blog Nomination for SARA SWEARS on my blog page! I love your Blog!